So if I haven't shared with you already, last month I was sick with baby fever. My co-worker and sister in law are both pregnant and glowing and I'll be damned if I don't go a week without someone asking me, "so when are you going to have kids?" You can only go so long before it starts to get under your skin and into your brain. Baby fever takes years of social conditioning and typically manifests at its worst shortly after marriage. The symptoms come and go in waves - for right now, my symptoms have subsided.
Here are some of the symptoms if baby fever:
1. You have pregnancy dreams - mine involve going into labor, doctors telling me I'm pregnant, knowing that I'm pregnant, holding my new born child, etc. They're fierce and very real.
2. You start to think about being an "old mom". You do the math to determine how old you will be when your child graduates high school and you don't like it. You compare yourself to friends who already have x number of children and then do the math to figure out how old they will be when their child(ren) will graduate hs. This number is lower than yours.
3. You start reading mommy blogs and bookmarking articles for future.
4. You begin thinking about baby names and start a google document entitled babies so you can easily update the list when a good name strikes you.
5. You think about your grandparents and want them to meet their great-grandchild.
6. You consider the fact that conceiving could take years and if we don't start now...
Each of these symptoms can haunt your very being if you dwell on them. But instead I am enjoying the dream, standing on the threshold of our future. We are so blessed in many ways and I am grateful for the life we are building together.
So if you're reading this list thinking, "what are you waiting for?" The short answer is we're just not ready. What's that you say? We'll never be READY to have kids? I agree with you there.
The fact remains that we are newlyweds; we are enjoying our new life together and soaking in every moment of being a family of two (or five if you count the cats). Babies will come when we are ready and only God knows when that will be. So for now, I am embracing my baby fever and loving my husband for being supportive of my disease.
Because I am content with "just us" and looking forward to our family years at the same time. :-)
