My life as a grown up

When I started to realize that I don't know everything, I stopped paying attention. I didn't have to. I didn't know everything, so why should I continuously try to make sense of it.

On Tuesday, my mom called. She left me a voicemail on my work phone. After checking said voicemail and completing some remedial work tasks, I called her back.

Inea: Thank you for calling Beer & Toone, how may I help you?
Tory: Hi Inea! It's Tory! How are you?
Inea: Good, Tory! How are you?
Tory: I'm doing well, thank you. Is my mom around?
Inea: Oh yes, Tory. But she's talking to Kay. Can I place you on hold?
Tory: Of course.
Tory: *sings along with Jo Dee Messina* somebody's gonna give you a lesson in leavin
somebody's gonna give you back what you've been givin And I hope that Im around To watch em knock you down

Mom answers.

I look up and two people are standing at my desk, not only watching me sing along to the hold music, but also waiting for me while I am on a personal call.

Tory: Hi Mom, may I place you on a brief hold?
My customer service skills never cease to amaze me.

I turn to the two people standing at my desk, take orders and proceed to produce said orders. I'm working along.... la la la la la.

Pretty soon it's 5:30 p.m. time to assist with serving The Knot Party - a wedding event magazine networking event. So I leave my desk, do my thing and then it's time to go.

I get in my car. Regina Spektor comes on. I'm singing along. Then I check my cellphone. I see that so-and-so has called and then I see the call in the call log from a couple of days ago from my mom.

Then, the voicemail from my mom today creeps into my mind. Then I begin to recall talking to Inea. Ok, that conversation is quite lucid. Then I recall placing my mother on a "brief hold" because people were standing at my desk. Then, nothing.

I can't even remember who it was at my desk, nor what it was that they wanted. I don't remember what exactly it was that I proceeded to produce at such a time. All I could think about in the car ride home was the fact that I left my mother on hold for a potential eternity. Luckily, she had read an article about time wasted on hold and hung up knowing that I would call her back eventually. And I did. Good ol' logical, Mom.

And then after apologizing to my mom (read: best friend), I was talking to Matt about first kisses. I was pretty idiignant that I remembered my first kiss and Matt couldn't. However, my first memory was from the first grade, whilst Matt's was more contemporary.

I could not remember my first real kiss.

Then, I started to question other "firsts" that I have blocked out of memory. I suppose it all depends on the amount of emotion and vulnerability that you put into such firsts. If you set yourself up with so many boundaries and walls so that you can't be hurt if it goes awry, then I suppose you don't seem to remember it.

So mark this day. From this day forward, I promise to present myself, in a sound state of mind free from previous judgments, to remember with lucid detail, all important memories.

I also agree to give such milestones as first kisses and other beautiful moments the space they demand within my memory. I mean, I want to be able to tell my future children about their parents' first kiss, don't I? It's priceless, really. Priceless..