Hello Friends!

My life has gotten a little more grown up lately... New forever love of my life, new house, new job and officially a honeymooner Mrs.! Everything is a shiny adventure and untrodden territory. Follow along as I navigate the world of being a grown up!


I have been given the task of exploring the idea of courtship in present day society. In the animal kingdom, courtship presents itself in the mating selection process. Potential mates will dance, touch, vocalize or display their aptitude for beauty of fighting prowess in order to attract a mate. The attributes of animal courtship are not much different than that which occurs in the human world.

In the past, humans would court eachother according to the advise of their parents. In Japan, it's called Omiai and families actually hire a matchmaker. This matchmaker is more like a headhunter for relationships. They present resumes and consult with both families involved. Unfortunately for the two involved, if there is a match made, they are pressured to decide quickly on marriage by both the matchmaker and their parents.

Luckily for us in the Western world, we have more choice in the matter. But does choice equate to less formality? I understand that in the crazy, hectic world in which we live that good conversation and common moral and ethical interests are more important than a formal date. But what makes me wish that there were more stringent standards for the courtship process? I suppose after never having a formal courtship, I would like to explore the formality of an actual date. I'm not looking to be wooed into a relationship by a man on my doorstep with flowers (although flowers are nice) but it would be refreshing in the time drought we all seem to be suffering to make the most of each date.

The above, of course, requires both parties to actually consent to the date. Whether the man asks or the woman asks, it does not matter (personal preference: boy asks girl). But from there, present day courtship boundaries can be endless. Either party can plan the date. Either can pay for the date. Either can drive. You can meet each other there. There are an abundance of possible, contemporary-driven compromises that can make it seem less like an old-fashioned, misogynistic "courtship" and more like two people getting together. The main idea is an underlying formality that revolves around respect and a common goal.

The common goal does not have to have the weight of marriage previously held by practisers of courting. The goal can be defined and altered through effective and accurate communication. It is here that knowing yourself and what you want will come in handy and timing has an impact. For instance, if one party knows what they want and finds a "perfect match" but the other party is unsure that they want same thing, then it may not work. Patience on both parties' part is required for success in this type of relationship.

Although, modern day courtship may never evolve to the point where examing your own relationship goals is necessary. It may come down to the fact that you are incompatible and the possibility of another date with the person is simply out of the question.

More to come later.

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...