My own personal FML.

Today after the gym, I decided to reward myself with a pedicure. Ok, I know that going to the gym for the second time this month does not a pedicure require. But, it was the sure-fire way to get me through my work out without MacKenzie, so I dangled that carrot.

As I put on my flip flops to head in to the nail place, I realized that my adorable 5" heels had left a rather large blister on my left foot. While waiting for my pedicure, I searched my skull for the right thing to do. I had already checked in at this point, so I was committed, but wow, that blister was big and was going to be painful once it popped.

Side tracked: I always like it when the luck-of-the-draw pairs me with a nice male Asian nail tech. They always seem to give the best feet and calf massages. So, when I was called back my a nice male Asian nail tech, I celebrated a little on the inside.

I sat down, dipped my feet in the warm water and adjusted the massage chair to recline back a little further than I normally enjoy to ensure ultimate relaxation. Hey - it was a rough 25 minute workout!

The NMANT placed a towel on the foot rest and tapped my right shin. Side tracked: Until today, I never realized how one can conduct and entire pedicure and manicure with out exchanging any actual words to the paying client! I mean, really, all you need is a soft tap on the appropriate shin and any experienced pedicure/manicure getter will know what to do. I suppose I do not mind this as any relative conversation interrupts the relaxation. However, today's visit required conversation.

As he finished round one with my right foot, I was a bit nervous that he was going to gawk at the large blister on my left foot at the base and on the side of my big toe. As I pulled my foot out of the water, I leaned down and pointed to the large blister. "I have a huge blister right here." Then I made a squeamish face in case there was a language barrier. He touched the blister and smiled, but carried on. Unsure as to whether or not he understood, I assured myself that "blister" had to be in the English vocab handbook for pedicures and knew I was in good hands.

I picked up a two month old People and was enjoying my atta-girl reward for getting my butt to the gym when I was caught off guard with the pumice stone as the scrubbing tickled my right foot.

Confident that the NMANT was well aware of the blister on the impending left foot, I returned to reading about the Rihanna and Chris Brown gossip only to be abruptly ripped from my concentration by the pumice stone tearing through my fragile blister!! I screamed in agony on the inside. My eyes welled up with tears and I wanted to rip my foot away from him and point at the blister, grab his face and scream loudly, "BLISTER!!! OWWWWWWWW!!! IDIOT!!!!" But instead I told myself to hold the violent pain inside and hope it would feel better when I put it back in the water.

It... did not.

I quietly pulled my left foot out of the water as he began massaging my right. I looked down to see the damage done. I hope that my sub-standard protocol would call attention to the inexcusable pain I was experiencing. However, lifting my foot out of the water and gawking at my foot did nothing of the sort. The NMANT was too busy laughing hysterically with the other NMANT about who knows what, but perhaps it was ME!

Side tracked: Now I've grown accustomed to this practice in Asian nail salons. They speak their native tongue, laugh and enjoy their work. I pay less than at fancier salons and learn to tune it out.

So anyway, I figured that when it came time to massage my left foot, surely the NMANT had the message now. Left foot + blister = OW! But alas, no.

So basically, if this were an FML entry,(which it wouldn't be because it's too long and doesn't start with "Today..." [Oh wait, it does. I forgot I was being witty!]) I'm sure you might consider clicking the "You deserved that" because I didn't yelp out loud or say something to him. But really? I mean... really!? I had such high hopes for the NMANT.