Hello Friends!

My life has gotten a little more grown up lately... New forever love of my life, new house, new job and officially a honeymooner Mrs.! Everything is a shiny adventure and untrodden territory. Follow along as I navigate the world of being a grown up!

11.09.2006

So tonight was book club. Book club consists of my aunt, me and about 20 desperate housewives. Now, to give them more credit, they are incredible women, but they relate every book to their motherhood and I can't relate to that. I'm one of two single women and the only one who hasn't been married. But I bring a fresh, young perspective, which they appreciate, so I enjoy going.

Next book club is January 11th and we are not reading a book. Instead, we are sharing "love" letters. They don't have to be romantic love letters or even a love letter we've written or received, just a love letter. I'm not sure what it is, because I would like to think that normally this wouldn't bother me, but the only thing I could think of was the fact that I don't have any love letters. I can't remember writing any or getting any. The ony ideas I could come up with were the notes I prepared in high school when I was trying to get up the courage to tell my crush that I liked him. I was so nervous, but I wrote exactly how I felt and it was so innocent and un-cynical and completely without reservations. Here is what I wrote:
  • I'm in love with you.
  • I get this rush in my stomach every time I see you.
  • I'd do anything just to see you and get that feeling.
  • There's nothing I wouldn't do just to be able to do something as simple as sit with my hand on your leg.
  • I haven't talked to anyone about how I feel.
  • I leave my house early every morning so that I can get to school before you do, so that we can spend time together before class.
  • Before I go to bed you're the last thing I think of.
  • When I wake up you're the first thing I think of.
  • I like it that we see each other between 2nd and 3rd hour.
  • Even when we can't talk, it's nice just to see you.
  • When you're not there, I miss you.
  • I couldn't stand it anymore. I was gonna die if I didn't get this out.
  • I'm telling you this from the bottom of my heart - all logic gone.
  • As long as I follow my heart, I know I won't regret anything.

Funny how that's the only thing I could think of for a "love" letter and it's bullet points. My feelings were so ripe and they werne't even love. It was infatuation - raw teenage emotion. I read those bullet points to him verbatim and he said, "Woah... how 'bout them Mets?" (Who says that?? Clearly, I caught him off guard - it was high school.) For the record, I'm still not so scarred that I remember all of this. I consulted my high school journal. It was a journal, not a diary; that sounds too girly. Anyway, the assignment is "love" letters and that's all I've got. I will have to do some more thinking on this one.

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